Hanky Panky Hullabaloo: Eddward The Chick Magnet
by SaurusRock625
Summary: It's Valentine's Day at Peach Creek, and things are not as they seem. For there is much love abound for the one called Double Dee! As the girls all gain these feeling of allure, they will start to flock. And confess their love for the one who's hat looks like a sock! (Ladies man Double Dee!) Rated T for strong language.
1. Chapter 1

_**My own take on the Ed, Edd n' Eddy Valentine's Day special. I hope you guys enjoy it, because in this story there's going to be lots of love for our favorite Head-In-Sock Ed-Boy! Now, without further ado, on to the story, shall we? Also, for the sake of this story I'm making all the older Cul-de-sac kids high school students in their freshman year while Sarah and Jimmy are now in junior high. Just for plot convenience.**_

 _ ***The following is a non profit, fan based FanFiction Crossover! Ed, Edd n' Eddy is owned by Cartoon Network and Danny Antonucci. Please support the good old days of cartoons. All other franchises in this story belong to their respective owners and creators!***_

* * *

 ** _The Blonde, The Brawler, And The Edd!_**

* * *

Peach Creek High School is a place where the students of Peach Creek Minnesota go to learn the skills they need to succeed in life. Many people do indeed find good careers later on in life, and even settle down and start a family of their own. However, on this particular Valentine's Day, there's one young man who will finally obtain the love and affection he deserves. The love and affection he needs to fill the empty void in his heart.

Unfortunately, the halls and doors of the principle's office are being defiled with spitballs, courtesy of two of the school's resident juvenile delinquents. Vegeta and Lapis. While Vegeta was shooting spitballs at the halls and doors, Lapis was busy fixing his hair.

Hey, don't hate! Just because he's a guy doesn't mean he wants his hair to go to ruin!

Suddenly, something caught his attention. He looked down to his left to see his blonde twin sister, Lazuli, making something on the ground. And from how well it's made, it definitely shows that she's the one who inherited their mother's artistic skills. But he began snickering as he saw what it was she was making.

"Hey Vegeta," Lapis said, elbowing Vegeta in the ribs. "Check out Davinci over here!"

"Well, well, well, what have we here?" Vegeta asked rhetorically.

He took the item from Lazuli, prompting the girl to go wide eyed and start snarling at the snobby teenage boy.

"Awww, it's a valentine card!" mocked Vegeta.

"IT'S FOR THE MAN I HOPE WILL BE MY BOYFRIEND!" Lazuli shouted.

Vegeta cried in pain as the blonde girl punched him in the face and into a locker. But not before her brother Lapis could take the card. The black haired twin got a mocking grin as he read the card.

"It's for Sockhead, Vegeta!" Lapis mocked.

"GIVE IT BACK!" Lazuli demanded.

Now it was Lapis' turn to be in pain as his sister kicked him to the ground and somehow gave him a black eye in the process. Even as she took the card back.

 **"Double Dee is the only decent man in this school, and I won't tolerate anyone ridiculing him!"** yelled Lazuli.

The 'humphed' and turned around while crossing her arms in front of her. She has Hall Monitor duties to attend to and knows she has to hurry before Shovel Chin Kevin tries to do her job again.

"Now I know who got mom's genes." Lapis commented.

Vegeta scoffed as he dusted himself off.

"Siblings and their hormones! Am I right?" Vegeta asked.

Lapis sighed before saying "Tell me about it."

As the two walked off for their classes, they failed to see two agents of this story's best matchmaker fluttering about. It looked like cupid versions of Sarah and Jimmy when they were younger.

"When nature stirs on Valentine's day and greets children with her splendor," began Cupid Jimmy.

"Suddenly their heads are filled with thoughts of love and words so tender!" Cupid Sarah finished.

The two began giggling and fluttered offscreen to get ready for their task of making sure nothing comes between the boss and the boy whose love life he's trying to help.

 **"LET'S LEARN! LAST ONE TO CLASS IS A…** "

Skidding down the halls of the school is the three haired Ed-Boy known as Eddy, resident scammer and con-artist. However, he shows promise in the business industry, even if he's not very dedicated to his studies. Speaking of which…

"What am I saying?" Eddy asked himself as realization dawned on him.

His eyes narrowed as he began to grumble and walk down the hall. His two best friends, Eddward 'Double Dee', and Ed, walked down the hall just behind him. Since he stopped running, it gave them the opportunity to catch up with him. And Double Dee looked pretty happy about today.

"Isn't Valentine's day wonderful?" he asked. "Now, as teenagers, it can be difficult to express one's feelings of allure. But today is the one day of the year where the holiday spirit breaks down the barriers of insecurity that we erect around ourselves, and gives us the courage and words to let that special someone know you care!"

Double Dee was smiling as he pictured himself with a girlfriend, even if that likely wouldn't happen anytime soon. But he was broken from his thoughts when Ed grabbed him by the face, a look of fear on the no-neck Ed-Boy's face.

"Yucky, squishy MUSHY GIRLS, DOUBLE DEE!" Ed screamed in Double Dee's ear. "Avoid ships, my fine friend!"

Ed let go our Double Dee and rushed towards his locker. The sock hat wearing boy fell to the ground from the force of Ed's push and barely avoided what could be described as a mountain of junk that fell out of Ed's Locker. Eddy burst into laughter upon seeing that his big lump of a best friend would never change his ways.

"Gee Ed, your locker stinks like-"

"An onion!" Ed said, taking out said vegetable.

He took a big bite out of the stinky vegetable, though it doesn't smell as bad as aged garlic, and began to describe his best defenses against the female wiles of the teenage girls that surround them.

"Girls do not like stinky breath!" Ed said.

He then put a paper bag over his head with a picture of a fisherman in a fishing boat drawn where his face would be.

"Camouflage, so girls can not see you! And…"

Finally, Ed took out a shoebox with holes poked in the top.

"A spider! Girls hate them. Sarah said so!"

Ed laughed a bit as he felt something tickling his neck. He peeked out of the bag covering his head and recoiled back in fear as he saw that the spider he caught escaped from the box and was now on his neck.

" **SPIDER! GET IT OFF! GET IT OFF!"** screamed Ed.

Eddy laughed as Ed started running around like a chicken with its head cut off in an attempt to dislodge the spider from his person. He even tried splashing it with water from the drinking fountain. Luckily, Double Dee came to the rescue of both Ed and the spider.

"Oh, for goodness sake! You're frightening the poor thing!" Double Dee scolded.

He gathered the spider up in his hands and gently set it on an open window sill.

"All better!" he cooed to the spider.

The grateful little arachnid quickly scurried off so it could find a nice place to make a web while the three high school boys continued to converse amongst each other in the hall of the school.

"Eh, you babies got it light!" Eddy said. "Yep, Valentine's day is just the same old grind for this chick magnet."

Eddy flicked the combination lock on his locker, which somehow caused the dial to get the right combination, and opened his own locker. What popped out was a 'Kiss the Hunk' booth complete with a disco ball and a record player playing corny romance music.

Double Dee and Ed looked on as Eddy tried yet another foolish scam. Only this time, he was looking to con his money and kiss it too. Double Dee was unimpressed to put it lightly.

"Twenty five cents a smooch, ladies! Line forms to my left!" Eddy announced, putting a glass jar on the desk.

He sat back and kicked his feet up with a smirk on his face. He just can't wait for all the beautiful women in the school to start lining up ready to kiss him and give him their money. It'll be great! ...Yup! Can't wait!

...Still waitin'!

A few more minutes passed and nobody was lining up at his booth. But Eddy didn't let this discourage him.

"They must be freshenin' up in the can." Eddy said.

The music stopped, and Double Dee was still not impressed. Eddy's own so-called 'manly ways' with the ladies were effectively as useless as ever. Clearly, he's not the ladies man he thinks he is.

"In the can… Right-o." Double Dee said sarcastically.

But he smiled as he suddenly remembered something.

"While we're waiting, I have something for you guys. Happy Valentine's day, Ed!" Double Dee said, handing Ed a card.

"Bathtime already?" Ed asked stupidly.

"Eddy." Double Dee handed Eddy a card.

The three haired member of the EEE trio took the card and read it aloud, noting the weird looking old guy on it.

"You electrify me? Who the heck's this guy?" Eddy asked.

"Nikola Tesla, Eddy. It's part of my 'Great Minds of Science' Valentine's day card series." Double Dee replied.

"It has a mind, Eddy!" Ed exclaimed in his ever stupid ways.

Eddy just stared at his childhood friend for a few seconds, unsure what to say. At least until he thought of something that wasn't too offensive.

"Ain't ya supposed to give these things to girls?" Eddy asked.

Speaking of girls…

 ***Ding Ding!***

"A customer!" Eddy said excitedly.

The Eds looked to see who rang the bell only to recoil back in fear at who they saw. The school hall monitor, Lazuli! Her face had that same calculative stare it usually did, but it seemed less cold than it usually is for some odd reason.

"Alright, boys! Get this hunk of junk outta the hall and get to class!" she ordered. "And hurry up, before you're late!"

While Eddy grumbled while moving to do as the hall monitor said, Double Dee was surprised to feel something strange happen. Something that made him jump slightly and blush as he looked in the direction Lazuli was walking off in.

' _Did she really just slap me on the butt?'_ Double Dee mentally asked himself.

 _'I can't believe I just slapped him on the butt!'_ Lazuli mentally squealed in delight.

The Head in Sock Ed-Boy was broken from his musings when he heard feminine sobbing coming from the janitor's closet. He walked over and opened the door, expecting to find the school biology teacher crying over yet another boyfriend cheating on her, but was mildly surprised to find the school's blonde bombshell Yang Xiao Long crying her eyes out over something.

"Yang?" Double Dee inquired tentatively.

"MY TEAM HATES ME!" she cried while grabbing Double Dee and sobbing into his shirt.

The smartest of the Ed-Boys was unsure of what to do in this situation. On one hand, he doesn't want to risk being late to class. But on the other hand, he can't stand to see such a kind and beautiful girl in such pain.

"I-I'm sure it's nothing like that! They just need some personal space, that's all!" Double Dee said, trying to reason with Yang.

But the girl wouldn't budge. It's a well known fact that the blonde brawler and her team don't necessarily get along very well anymore, and maybe she was planning to use today to rekindle the bond she once had with them. What could have possibly happened to make it all go so wrong?

Double Dee looked around nervously as the late bell rang.

"Uh, shouldn't we be getting to class?" he asked.

 **"I'VE GOT NO ONE, DOUBLE DEE! NO FRIENDS! NO FAMILY! AND NO VALENTINE FOR VALENTINE'S DAY!"** wailed Yang as she cried even harder.

Double Dee finally got a better look at the blonde brawler. Her eyes were red and puffy from crying so much and her face was littered with tear marks. Her vibrant blonde hair had less of a shine to it, looking dull and sad rather than happy and well cared. The girl was clearly distraught, and Double Dee could really only do one thing her.

He turned around and began writing on something.

' _Forgive me, Nazz!'_ Double Dee mentally begged.

"Um, I really must be going. Happy Valentine's day, Yang." Double Dee said, handing Yang something.

The girl managed to stop crying for a moment, and took a look at what she had in her hands. It was a Valentine card depicting Charles Darwin and his theory of natural evolution.

It read 'To: Yang. From: Double Dee'. Although, it has the name 'Nazz' on it crossed out with red ink. But Yang read the message aloud to herself.

"Naturally, I select you?"

She looked in the direction where Double Dee was rushing to their first class of the day. Her heart was all a-flutter from some foreign feeling that she was getting as she thought of the sock hat wearing boy.

"Double Dee…?"

Yang was not quite sure what she was feeling for the boy who just attempted to comfort her, but she does know one thing. She wants to learn more about it! So she picked herself up and started off towards class. She needs to talk to Double Dee and get his help in figuring out these odd feelings she has!

Meanwhile, up above, Cupid Sarah and Cupid Jimmy were ready to narrate once more.

"And so the spring of love is seeded deep within the brawling girl!" Cupid Sarah started.

"Still, another half is needed for this blossom to unfurl!" Cupid Jimmy finished.

And so, they fluttered away giggling at all of the love Valentine's day has to offer. But as they passed by Rolf, who was drinking from a water fountain, they failed to notice the hairs on his neck stand on end as he sensed their presence.

"Rolf smells the impy scent of Mountain Sprites come to make mischief among us!"

The son of a shepherd scowled at the thought. Many a man and woman have fallen to the tricks of these mountain imps, and he wasn't about to let that chaos befall the school!

* * *

 _ ***To Be Continued…***_

* * *

 _ **You should know, I'll be inserting myself into this story under one of the aliases I go by when on FanFiction. Check my Bio on my profile and you'll see a list of them. Anyway, feel free to tell me what you think of this story.**_


	2. Chapter 2

_**I'm surprised to have gotten so many requests for girls that should be in Double Dee's harem in this story, but I have already decided on all of them. But a few of your suggestions are in there, readers, so fret not! Enjoy the story!**_

 _ ***I still own nothing!***_

* * *

 _ **A Dragon's Smarts!**_

* * *

In Biology/Chemistry class, Vegeta and Lapis were currently reading a book on anatomy with the Kanker Sisters and were laughing at what they were seeing. It seemed so entertaining to them, because of reasons I just don't want to see. And at a separate desk, Double Dee was hard at work getting an assignment done for the teacher.

But the strangest thing is, professor Port didn't seem to be paying attention to the students right now. And that is highly unlike him.

"Boy am I parched!" Ed said, walking past Double Dee while wearing a fake skeleton.

Poor Mister Bonejangles.

"Man, are you gonna get in trouble!" snickered Eddy.

But Double Dee was certainly not amused.

"Some of us are here to LEARN, thank you!" he scolded in his inside voice.

"Hey, Double Dee!"

The head in sock Ed-Boy looked up from his book to see Yang walking up to him and blushed a bit as one of the school's most beautiful girls sat down next to him.

"Ah! Feeling better, Yang?" Double Dee asked.

"Yeah, lot's better, actually. And, I wanted to ask you something important." Yang replied.

Double Dee was already at rapt attention. He knows that if Yang needed to speak about something important, it was best to listen. Even if no one does, most of the time.

"Well, perhaps we can discuss it while we work? After all, this assignment is worth forty percent of our term." Double Dee suggested.

Yang was about to reply to that, but she noticed something sticking out of Double Dee's back pocket.

"Hey, what's that paper in your pocket, Double Dee?" Yang asked.

"Paper?" Double Dee asked in return.

He looked down to his back pocket and saw the piece of paper. Curiosity got the better of him as he pulled it out of his pocket. And professor Port took notice of this, but he did nothing. He could tell that the paper was a valentine card and wasn't about to interfere in the love lives of his students.

"To my sweet Guardian Bear, won't you be my valentine? Love… Lazuli?!" Double Dee read aloud to himself and Yang.

The Ed-Boy and the brawling girl looked at each other with a bit of confusion. Why would Lazuli, another one of the most beautiful women in the school, have taken a romantic interest in Double Dee of all people?

"Well, that does explain why she smacked me on the butt earlier today…" muttered Double Dee.

"She did what?" Yang asked.

Their conversation was cut short by an explosion that sent Double Dee propelling into the blackboard at the front of the classroom. Port rushed to pull his student out of the wall while the culprits made themselves known.

"Pink belly!" Ed exclaimed stupidly.

"Oh, way to go, numbskull! You ruined my shirt!" exclaimed Eddy, gesturing to the ruined remains of what was once his shirt.

Both boys were covered in soot from their own little science mishap, and a certain blonde student was NOT happy.

" **ARE YOU TWO BRAIN DEAD?!"** snapped Yang.

The two Ed-Boys looked at Yang and saw that she was pretty angry. Not just because these two were messing around with harmful chemicals, but also because they hurt Double Dee with that careless explosion.

"Don't you know you're not supposed to mix ferrous oxide with an aqueous suspension?!" Yang questioned/scolded.

"Yang?! I've never seen this side of you!" Double Dee said with wide eyes.

But while Double Dee was impressed by this sudden burst of knowledge from the blonde brawler, professor Port had taken out his 'Star Student' Book.

"Very good, miss Xiao Long! That's exactly what I was about to scold those two for!" Port exclaimed.

He opened his book to Yang and Double Dee's pages, and the sock hat wearing Ed-Boy was astounded by how many gold stars Yang has on her profile. It was about the same amount that he has!

"I know you asked me to only do this after class, but you deserve to get this gold star right here and now!" Port said, placing a shiny new gold star sticker on her page. "Keep up the good work you two!"

Port then turned to Eddy and Ed. Beneath those big, bushy eyebrows of his, you can tell the professor is NOT pleased.

"As for you two. You'll be staying after class to help clean up this mess you made." Port said.

Eddy grumbled, but didn't say anything. He knows better than to mess with this guy, and besides that, it means he and Ed will have to listen to one of Port's boring, long winded stories again. It'll be absolute torture!

"Yang, why have you never shown such vast knowledge before now?" Double Dee asked.

"Well, since I'm often considered as one of the school's more popular girls, I kinda have to hide my grade average and intellect behind the mask of a blonde bimbo who only knows how to punch things. Something I hate having to do!" Yang explained.

She laughed a bit before adding "Plus, when you have an uncle who always comes home wasted from drinking so much, you kinda need to learn how to make a strong bathroom deodorizer."

Double Dee chuckled upon hearing that. Oh sure, he knows all about Qrow Branwen and his insatiable drinking habits. Professor Port has told the class many stories of the drunken man's misfortunes involving alcohol and his own job as a warrior. Double Dee often wonders just how the man's liver hasn't given out from all of that alcohol Qrow drinks! It's just downright absurd!

"Well, with an uncle like mister Branwen I think I speak for all of us when I say that you would certainly need all of the help you can get with him." Double Dee said.

"Hey guys,"

Both looked up to see Lazuli walking up to their table and sitting down. She had a few chemicals that were needed for this assignment, and looked like she needed help.

"You guys mind if I partner up with you?" she asked. "I would partner up with my brother, Lapis, but…"

All three glanced back and saw that Lapis and Vegeta were still engrossed in that anatomy textbook, laughing like a couple of hyenas.

 _ **(Janja: HEY! I resent that!)**_

Knowing that Lapis couldn't possibly get any work done partnering up with either of THOSE TWO, Double Dee smiled and nodded at Lazuli while Yang grinned and gave her a thumbs up. But unknown and unseen by the three, strange rings suddenly materialized on their fingers. Each with a different kind of stone embedded in them. Yang's had a beautiful lilac topaz gem surrounded by diamonds while Lazuli's was a Jade shard of Emerald with chocolate diamonds forming a coiling dragon around the stone.

Double Dee's ring was just a simple gold band, but like the other two rings it's giving off huge amounts of love energy. And so, as the three got to work, Cupid Sarah and Cupid Jimmy appeared once again.

"Now that Double Dee and these two ladies have been smitten by the force of Cupid's will," began Cupid Jimmy.

"Ever shall a note be written, the plot gets thicker still!" finished Cupid Sarah.

And so, the two resumed their playful laughter and continued to oversee their jobs of spreading temporary love while their boss continued to find those who require true love in their lives.

* * *

 _ ***To Be Continued…***_

* * *

 _ **I hope you guys enjoyed the chapter, and you'll see who else is with Double Dee as the story progresses. You'll also see a few minor pairings later down the line.**_


	3. Chapter 3

_***I still don't own anything used in this story! And I hope you're ready to see a minor pairing being hinted here, and next chapter we'll get to see a jerk face getting his butt handed to him!***_

* * *

 _ **Valentine Cards Galore!**_

* * *

The time between classes was well spent for all students, usually used for getting what they needed for their next class. And while most schools tend to give students only five minutes to get their stuff from their lockers, this particular high school was being generous by giving their students ten minutes. Five to get their things, and five to get to their classes due to some students having classes assigned to them literally on the other side of the school. And right now, we find students like Rolf, Kevin, Nazz and Chojuro at their lockers getting what they need for gym class.

But as Rolf reached into his locker to get his gym bag, the two Cupids of the story fluttered by, giving their ever constant giggles.

Rolf bolted up as the hairs on the back of his neck stood on end once again.

" **AGAIN?! THESE MOUNTAIN NYMPHS TAUNT ROLF NO MORE!"** yelled Rolf.

Naturally, his outburst garnered some attention from the other students, but they quickly just wrote it off to all of the work he does back home messing with his head. But Kevin had a less than nice way of putting it into words.

"You're whack, dude!" laughed Kevin.

Cupid Jimmy continued to giggle as he lead Yang to her locker, happy to see that his boss was continuing to spread true love wherever it may be needed. Not that Yang saw the little love fairy.

As she reached her locker, Yang got a big smile as she noticed a note in it. She took it out, unfolded it and immediately started to read it aloud. Her ring confirmed that it was from her man.

"To my beautiful Golden Dragon, won't you be my Valentine? Love, Eddward."

She hugged the letter, completely oblivious to the fact that her sister and 'team' heard the whole thing. Weiss busted out laughing as she swiped the letter from Yang and showed it to Blake and Ruby.

"Elric's so stupid! He put Winry's Valentine card in Yang's locker!" laughed Weiss.

Okay, so she's thinking about the wrong Ed. And while Blake just giggled at this fact, it didn't stop Ruby from freaking out.

" **YUCK! MUSHY!"** screamed Ruby.

She tried to get away, but instead ended up making like an ostrich and getting her head stuck in the floor. With a mischievous grin, Yang quickly did her hair to look like the eldest Elric brother and went wall eyed as she did a poor impression of him.

"Oh Winry, it's me Edward Elric! Won't you be my valentine?" Weiss mocked in a squeaky voice.

The camera shifts to the lower floor of the school where we see that Ruby is actually stuck head first in the boiler room. Her eyes narrowed as Weiss made fun of Edward Elric.

"That's not funny, Weiss!" Ruby said.

Weiss just rolled her eyes and fixed her hair before crumpling up the Valentine card and throwing it in a nearby trash can.

"Oh, what are you so scared of?" she asked. "Boys don't bite, dolt! They just slowly annoy the hell out of you until you decide to get a divorce."

The bell rang and Weiss silently cursed while getting the things she needed for gym class with Blake and Ruby not far behind. But they noticed that while she already has her stuff with her, Yang wasn't heading to class. Instead, she was head first in the garbage can fishing out the Valentine card.

"Look at her! Not only is she apparently the teacher's pet, but now she's kissing up to the janitor!" growled Weiss. "HEY! We're gonna be late for class, Xiao Long!"

But Yang wasn't listening. So Weiss slapped Ruby on the back of the head to get her attention, and gave her one simple order.

"Ruby! Fetch!"

The three girls ran into the gymnasium with Ruby carrying Yang over her shoulder, but the blonde girl got stuck in the doors in a cartoony fashion. As her body stretched, Yang sighed in adoration at the man who gave her this card.

"Double Dee… til whence we meet again."

With a sly smile, she folded the card and slipped it into her coat's inner pocket before allowing herself to slip between the doors and crash into Ruby. The young redhead REALLY felt the damage on that one.

"Medic!" groaned Ruby.

But little did they know was that Double Dee was going through something similar at his own locker. As he entered the combination to his locker's lock, he noticed a Valentine card wedged in the upper vents. Amazingly, his ring was telling him that it wasn't from Yang or Lazuli, but it is from a girl who harbors true feelings for him.

Removing the Valentine from his locker, Double Dee read it aloud.

"Greetings to you, my sweet Ursa Major! Won't you do this fair maiden the honor of being her Valentine? Love… Mei?"

While the head in sock Ed-Boy was confused by this valentine and a bit concerned, Eddy, like Weiss, simply busted out laughing and swiped the card from Double Dee.

"May's so stupid! She put YOUR valentine in Double Dee's locker!" Eddy exclaimed to Ed.

And once again, right name, wrong person.

Ed's pupils shrunk to pin pricks as he shot up from the ground in fear of the females.

" **YUCK! MUSHY!"**

And much like Ruby, Ed dove down and got his head stuck in the school's boiler room. Eddy just snickered and stuck a book in his upper lip like a pair of buck teeth and did his own equally terrible impression of May Kanker.

"Oh Ed, it's me May Kanker! Won't you be my valentine?" he asked with crossed eyes and a lisp.

"That's not funny, Eddy!" Ed responded from the boiler room.

"Ah, what're ya scared of?" Eddy asked.

He spat the book out and crumpled up the Valentine card before tossing it in the trash, much like Weiss did earlier.

"Girls don't bite, stupid! They'll just slowly nag ya to death." Eddy said.

That was when the bell rang, making Ed and Eddy rush to get their stuff while Double Dee was fishing out the Valentine he'd gotten. Needless to say, Eddy was less than impressed.

"Look at him! Not only is he the teacher's pet, now he's kissing up to the janitor! HEY! We're gonna be late for class, Sockhead!" Eddy exclaimed.

But Double Dee wasn't listening. So, like Weiss, Eddy slapped Ed upside the head and gave him a simple order.

"Ed! Fetch!"

The two Ed-Boys ran into the gymnasium while Double Dee ended up comedically stuck in the doors like Yang was earlier. But rather than being lovestruck like Yang was, Double Dee was more concerned about his present situation.

"Well, miss Terumi, you and I need to have a little talk later." Double Dee said to himself.

With that, he slipped the card under his hat for safe keeping and allowed himself to slide between the doors.

* * *

 _ ***To Be Continued…***_

* * *

 _ **Just a short chapter for you all, as I have something big in store for the next one. Also, here's a list of the girls that I do have in Double Dee's harem.**_

 _ **Android #18/Lazuli, Yang Xiao Long, Kurumu Kurono, One of The Daughters of Aku (undecided as of yet), Mei Terumi, Glynda Goodwitch (pending), Cammy (Street Fighter) and Kasumi (Dead or Alive)**_

 _ **Also, I have a new poll posted so be sure to cast your votes! Until next time, I'll see you in my next chapter! Whatever it may be!**_


	4. Chapter 4

_**Sorry this chapter took so long, but I needed to draw some inspiration by rewatching the Ed, Edd n' Eddy Valentine's Day special. So, I hope you guys are ready for this chapter! You've sent in tons of reviews, and I've got a TON of ideas! SO LET'S GET TO IT!**_

 _ ***I still own NONE of the franchises used in this story!***_

* * *

 _ **The Love of A Volcanic Princess**_

* * *

At gym class, Professor Glynda Goodwitch was filling in for the usual Physical Education teacher. Normally, he left Kevin in charge of the class as the Teacher's Assistant, but lately the principle has been getting numerous complaints of Kevin merely using this position of power to put down the other students for not being as physically fit as the other students. Namely, the three Ed-Boys. And as such, Glynda volunteered to be the assistant gym teacher. With some help from her good friend, Iruka Umino.

While the brown haired, scarred man is more of a theoretical teacher than a physical education teacher, he's no slacker when it comes to remaining physically fit. The two teachers looked in Rolf's direction as the Son of A Shepherd continued to look around like he was suspicious of something.

"Sometimes I worry about that boy, Glynda." said Iruka.

"So do I, Iruka. So do I." replied Glynda.

Both were broken from their small musings when a certain, big headed kid with a wooden board for a friend caught their attention.

"Substitute Gym Teachers, watch me!" exclaimed Johnny.

The boy started doing push-ups at a breakneck pace as he strived to show his own physical fitness. Something that just got an eyeroll from Kevin, especially when he turned to the piece of wood with a face drawn on it.

"Look sharp, Plank! They're marking us!"

"What, MORE substitute teachers?!" asked an exasperated Eddy.

Glynda just sighed and pinched the bridge of her nose.

"The things I do to pay my rent…" she mumbled just loud enough for Iruka to hear.

"HERE! PRESENT! CHECK! ON HAND! YO! READY WHEN YOU ARE!" shouted Ed as he dragged Double Dee to the gym. "May I be excused?"

Glynda and Iruka shook their heads with good natured grins. They know that Ed can be a very bright young man when he wants to be, and in terms of physical strength, he rivals even the likes of Yang, Goku, Lapis and Vegeta! They just wished he didn't hide his bright attitude behind a mask of stupidity because of his family problems.

"Sorry Ed, but I'm afraid you'll have to wait until after class." Iruka said. "Anyway, I hope you kids are good climbers because today you're going to be climbing ropes!"

Most of the group just stared at the teacher, until Johnny got a big grin at the prospect of climbing anything.

"RIGHT ON!" cheered Johnny.

The bald kid got up from the floor and ran over to the rope. Everyone watched in fascination as the melon head climbed up the rope like it was nothing and rang the bell at the top. In fact, they began to wonder if he was secretly part squirrel.

"Alright, girls! Let's get to work!" said the other gym teacher, Cammy White.

Cammy is an attractive woman with long blonde hair done in a french braid, green eyes and a couple of scars on her face. She's wearing her usual military outfit that she wears when working for Interpol, and is holding a badminton racket as the girls all piled out of the locker room after changing into their gym clothes.

"Today's lesson is certain to get your blood moving, but I expect everyone to be on their best behavior!" Cammy exclaimed before adding "I'm looking at YOU, Kanker sisters."

The three juvenile delinquents just grinned at the teacher, showing that they clearly don't care about whatever consequences might befall them. But through their rings, Yang and Lazuli sensed the love of their man and turned to wave at Double Dee who waved back. The teachers noticed this behavior, as did a certain auburn haired girl wearing blue.

Mei Terumi is what most would call a typical Ice Queen. She's said to even be colder than Weiss or her sister Winter due to having NEVER accepted a boy's offer to go on a date with her. And she often rejects them in the most painful ways possible. But only through physical pain, never emotional. She's not THAT cruel.

But there's one boy whom she KNOWS is the man for her. And she's looking at the sock hat wearing boy right now with a flirtatious grin and a look in her eye that no one's ever seen before. But that's for later. This is now.

"Hey, no neck!" called Kevin.

Eddy scowled and turned to look at Kevin, who was looking at Eddy with malicious intent, holding the climbing rope in a way that showed he was going to throw it.

"Your go!" Kevin said.

And with that, he threw the rope and missed Eddy, but instead he hit Mei right in the eye! Hard!

The girl cried out in pain as she fell to her knees holding her hands over her hurt eye. Cammy and the rest of the girls in class immediately ran to check on her. All except the Kankers, who busted out laughing at her own misfortune. And Double Dee wasn't going to take this lying down either.

"OH MY GOODNESS, MEI!" cried Double Dee.

He ran over and pushed his way past the crowd to see the school nurse, Tsunade Senju and her Student Teacher assistant, Shizune, trying to examine the hurt girl's eye. But Mei refused to let go, and Double Dee immediately saw why.

There was blood seeping through the poor girl's fingers!

"Mei, speak to me! Are you okay?" Double Dee pleaded.

He moved her hair away from her one good eye and gently took her hands in his own. She didn't want to move them, but seeing the concern for her health in Double Dee's eyes and that he was trying to help her, Mei allowed him to slowly move her hands from her eye. Taking the bottle of clean water from Tsunade, the smart Ed-Boy immediately started by rinsing the blood out of Mei's eye.

She yelped in pain as the cold water made contact with her injured visual organ, but powered on through as her eye was flushed of the blood. Once it was all cleaned out, Tsunade could clearly see that the damage was all on the outer part of the eye socket and not the eye itself.

Working quickly, she took a cotton pad and used medical tape to keep it pressed over Mei's injured eye socket while Glynda and Iruka proceeded to give Kevin the scolding of a lifetime.

"WHAT WERE YOU THINKING, THROWING THE ROPE LIKE THAT, KEVIN?!" demanded Iruka using his signature 'Giant Demon Head Technique'.

Kevin tried to answer, only to be cut off by the already irate teacher.

"No! You know what, don't answer that! It's clear that you were only thinking of inflicting pain on the Eds again like you ALWAYS do! You know, this behavior of yours is absolutely abhorrent and unsettling for anyone! You're no better than a common street thug!" Iruka scolded.

Kevin made to argue, but a very harsh and VERY cold glare from Glynda made his words die in his throat.

"You march your butt over to the principal's office right now, young man! I'll be there after class to discuss your punishment!" Glynda ordered.

Not wanting to face the woman's anger, Kevin just booked it right for the Principal's office before anything else happened today! And back with Mei, Double Dee was still fretting over the auburn haired girl and trying to calm her down as tears of pain flowed out of her good eye.

"Speak to me, Mei! Will you be okay?" Double Dee asked.

The girl managed to open her eye and smiled at seeing Double Dee's face. No one really noticed that a golden ring with a fire ruby surrounded by a diamond volcano appeared on her left ring finger. And meanwhile, another ring also appeared on one of Double Dee's finger.

"Your gentle gaze alone could heal any wound!" she replied.

Double Dee smiled and picked her up bridal style as he carried her over to the stretcher that Tsunade and Shizune brought in. And for some reason, Glynda and Cammy were feeling a little bit jealous at the interaction between the two students. And yet Yang and Lazuli didn't feel a slight bit of jealousy.

A strange thing, isn't it.

"Worry not, Mei! The doctors are on their way to help heal your eye!" Double Dee assured.

Mei just kept smiling at the Ed-Boy. Her smile never once left her face. Love for this man was clearly shining true in her eyes. Even Cupid Sarah and Cupid Jimmy felt the need to express the gloriousness of this true love spreading.

"Now the dance of love is starting, and the blossom is about to unfurl!" Cupid Jimmy exclaimed.

"Never shall a pair be parted by another boy or girl!" Cupid Sarah finished.

The two little love sprites took off giggling, completely unaware of how much things were about to get rocky. Starting with the Kanker sisters.

"Yo, Marie! Looks like that man of yours is flirtin' with the auburn girl!" said Lee Kanker.

Marie rushed out of the locker room fully dressed and witnessed with wide eyes how Double Dee was looking at Mei and holding her hand with such tenderness and caring. Something that he SHOULD be doing for HER!

Yeah… right… whatever floats your root beer, girl.

* * *

 _ ***To Be Continued…***_

* * *

 _ **Don't forget to cast your votes on the poll I posted! Also, which do you think would be a better partner for Jaune in my Yellow Knight Dragon Riders story: the Triple Stryke or the Skrill? Let me know in your reviews!**_


	5. Chapter 5

_**Here's a new chapter for everyone to enjoy. I just hope you all like this one. Now, without further ado, on to the chapter, shall we?**_

 _ ***I still don't own Ed, Edd n' Eddy or any other franchise featured in this story!***_

* * *

 _ **Art Class and the Ink Machine!**_

* * *

After gym, the students were in their art class having a free period to go crazy with their artwork and paint or sculpt whatever they want. Just as long as it's school appropriate. Right now, Double Dee was trying to make sense of the rings on his fingers as well as the fact that multiple girls seemed to have an interest in him. Still, it was better than being considered totally undesirable by the women of this school.

Sitting at a table across from him, Lapis watched with a raised eyebrow as Lazuli painted a picture of herself and Double Dee on what must be their future wedding day. She was in a beautiful white dress and was holding a bouquet of lilies while Double Dee was dressed in a white tux. Lazuli sighed as she thought about when that day would come.

Even Yang was working on something related to herself and Double Dee.

But Marie seemed to easily be showing off her more jealous side. Her own painting depicted herself pushing Mei, Yang and Lazuli off a cliff to their doom. Clearly, she's not going to just let them take Double Dee away from her like they've been doing recently. Not that he was her man to begin with.

As for Double Dee, he was busy trying to ignore Vegeta, Eddy and Ed as they actually roped Nora into one of their ridiculous schemes to make money. This time through the use of counterfeit. Ed and Nora were carving something into a dollar sized block of wood while Eddy and Vegeta waited anxiously.

"Come on, guys, hurry up! Before the teacher sees ya!" Eddy said impatiently.

Nora and Ed put down their carving tools and showed the finished product. A wooden carving of a one dollar bill with a picture of Eddy instead of George Washington, and a five dollar bill with a picture of Vegeta instead of Abraham Lincoln.

"All done, Eddy. You owe me a buck." Ed whispered.

"And Vegeta owes me five." Nora whisper added.

"No problem, Michelangelo and Donatello! Give us a sec and we'll print you each fifty!" exclaimed Vegeta.

As he and Eddy ran to the art class's printing press, they grinned like maniacs from this get rich quick scheme.

"Come on, stupid!" whispered Eddy.

"You too, pancake face!" Vegeta added.

Thinking fast, Ed and Nora pulled out some cardboard cutouts of themselves, Vegeta and Eddy, and rushed over to the printing press. Ed wheeled a chalkboard to hide their actions as they all got to work. But something tells me that this will be much harder for them than they think.

"We'll print up a hundred bucks even before class lets out!" exclaimed Eddy.

"Why stop at just a hundred? Why not go for a thousand! Maybe more!" Vegeta added.

"Here's the ink, Eddy." Ed called.

He and Nora ran over with a large canister of ink and began pouring it into the machine's inkwell. But while they did this, Eddy and Vegeta struggled to figure out how to actually use the machine.

"How's this thing work?" Vegeta asked.

While they tried to figure this out, Eddy peeked out over the chalk board and tried to get the too smart for his hat Ed-Boy to help them.

"Psst! Double Dee!" hissed Eddy.

But Double Dee wasn't listening. He was not going to get in trouble for something as underhanded as counterfeit because of Eddy and Vegeta's greed! He's gotten into enough trouble as it is since last summer vacation!

"Watch your head, Eddy!" exclaimed Nora.

Eddy looked back, only to get a face full of ink.

"NORA!"

The sound of a fist impacting against flesh was heard as Eddy dived back behind the chalk board. Double Dee shook his head and pinched the bridge of his nose. Why couldn't his friends behave themselves in school just ONE TIME, for once in their lives? Was that too much to ask?!

He was broken from his thoughts when he felt someone tap him on the arm. He looked up to see Johnny crouched down next to his table with an envelope in his mouth.

"I'm a little squirrel, and this nut's for you." Johnny said.

Double Dee chuckled good-naturedly at the boy's antics and accepted the envelope. He opened it up to reveal a card from Lazuli with a piece of Valentine's Day candy taped to the inside.

"A sweet from my sweet! Be mine…" swooned Double Dee.

He immediately made one for the other girls and had Johnny deliver each one. Yang, Lazuli and Mei each read the words of love and affection written in each card before sending Double Dee more. And he sent more to them in return, which Johnny was more than happy to deliver.

But as the tree hugging boy was moving like a squirrel, delivering Valentine cards at breakneck speed, Marie was red in the face with pure murder etched onto her face. She got so angry, she broke the paintbrush she was using in two. Having had enough of this, she pounced on Johnny and tried to wrench the card he was about to deliver from Mei to Double Dee. But Johnny was doing a good job at keeping it just out of her reach.

"Let me see that!" Marie demanded.

"No, I can't! It's against squirrel policy!" exclaimed Johnny.

"Gimme it!" Marie demanded again.

But Johnny had a plan for just such an emergency as this one.

"Nuts to you!"

Like they say in Ed, Edd n' Eddy, if you can't beat 'em, eat 'em! And eat the Valentine card Johnny certainly did!

"You're such a weirdo!"

After Johnny swallowed the Valentine he was forced to eat, sending an apologetic look towards the former recipient, everyone heard the sounds of a machine going full speed loco! They looked towards the blackboard and saw a huge puddle of ink flowing out from underneath it.

"ED, YOU IDIOT, WHAT'RE YOU DOING?!" Vegeta demanded in panic.

Ed was laughing like the idiot he is as he and Nora were going through the Ink Machine's printing press like paper. Both they, Vegeta and Eddy were soaked in ink and looked like they were going to have a heart attack if this thing blows up.

"Splish splash, I'm taking a bath, Vegeta!" Ed said stupidly.

"WHEEEEEEEEEE!" squealed Nora.

Double Dee was rooted to his spot for fear of both getting in trouble through possible association with the scheme, and fear of the Ink Machine actually blowing up in the classroom.

"DOUBLE DEE, DO SOMETHING! STOP THIS CRAZY THING!" begged Eddy.

Suddenly a tidal wave of ink burst out from behind the blackboard, causing Double Dee to scream as he was involuntarily surfing on a wave of ink towards the three girls who have currently taken up a lot of room in his heart.

Once Double Dee and his girls made eye contact with each other, their worries just disappeared.

"Loving Lion…" swooned Lazuli, Yang and Mei.

"Turtle Dove, Golden Dragon and Lava Princess…!" Double Dee swooned in response.

The four of them locked arms and kept each other anchored to the floor as everyone else was washed away. But four certain groups of people heard what was said.

"Loving Lion?" Eddy asked.

"Turtle Dove?" Asked Lapis as he washed up on a desk.

"Golden Dragon?" questioned Ruby.

And finally as Ao and Chojuro were washed up on the far side of the room, Chojuro removed his goggles as Ao spat out the ink that got in his mouth.

"Lava Princess?" Asked Chojuro.

The four of them made their way to the door of the classroom to get themselves cleaned up and hopefully avoid getting detention due to a misunderstanding.

"I've got some stain remover that the four of us can share. Care to partake?" Double Dee asked.

Yang just grinned and said "Not before the third date, lover boy."

As the four laughed at Yang's joke, the ninjas, the Kankers, RWB, Lapis and Vegeta along with Ed and Eddy got suspicious looks on their faces. Something's going on here, and they plan to find out what it is.

* * *

 _ ***To Be Continued…***_

* * *

 _ **Okay, that's it for this chapter! But before we part ways I'd like you to know that I plan on writing my own version of a Dragon Ball Super/Pokémon crossover in the future. Look forward to that. See you all next time!**_


	6. Chapter 6

_**Sorry to be so late with this chapter, and I think it's gonna be another short one, but I'm still trying to think of a good way to introduce the rest of Double Dee's girls.**_

 _ ***I still don't own Ed, Edd n' Eddy or any of the other franchises used in this story!***_

* * *

 _ **Getting to the Bottom of Things!**_

* * *

We now find ourselves at Double Dee's locker with Eddy, Ed and Cell. They were very much confused by the behavior of Double Dee and those girls, and wanted to get to the bottom of this whole debacle. Eddy and Cell are working tirelessly to pick the lock on Double Dee's locker, Cell using a stethoscope to guide Eddy as he tried to find the combination that would tip the tumblers.

"That's it, Eddy… a little more to the left… little more…" instructed Cell.

 ***CLICK!***

Cell grinned at the telltale sign of the lock unlocking while Eddy removed the lock from the door.

"Bingo!" exclaimed Eddy.

They opened the door and began to go through some of the books in the locker. What they found just confused them even more, as they read the titles and threw the books out, hitting Ed in the face with each one. They alternated reading the titles in this order: Edd, then Cell, then back to Eddy.

"Opposite Attractions and You?"

"Relishing the Rampant?"

"Yum, relish!" Ed said stupidly.

"Diametric Doting Done Easy? I don't get it!"

"I'm with you, Eddy. This stuff makes about as much sense as Ed does on a good day!" Cell added.

That's when Ed noticed something sticking out of the top of his head. It didn't hurt, but it did look kinda girly to him, if a little more on the dangerous side.

"Look, guys, a prize!" Ed exclaimed.

Eddy and Cell looked at the big lump and noticed that he was telling the truth. There really is something in that book that got stuck in his head. Carefully, so he didn't accidentally hurt Ed, Eddy reached up and removed the item from his head. What he found just confused him a little more.

"A shotgun shell with a heart painted on it? What gives?" Eddy asked.

But Cell recognized the item right away.

"Wait a minute… that's no ordinary shotgun shell, that's one of the shells from the ammo Yang uses for her Ember Celica! DOUBLE DEE'S BEEN POISONED BY DRAGON LOVE, BOYS!" exclaimed Cell.

Eddy instantly got mad and began to grit his teeth while Ed backed up with a panicked look on his chinless face.

"YUCKY, EVIL, MUSHY, CELL!"

Ed put another paper bag over his head, but this one had the words 'I Am Stupid' written on the front. But it did nothing to amuse the other two as they angrily put away Double Dee's books.

"And I have a test after lunch! How am I supposed to steal his answers if he's all Yang happy?!" Eddy growled.

He closed the door to the locker, only for the scene to shift to another locker door being ripped off it's hinges by the Kanker sisters. Turns out they were very suspicious of Yang and were paid by Ruby, Weiss and Blake to find out why Yang has been acting so weird around Double Dee.

I mean, really! Yang? Acting lovey dovey with Double Dee of all people? They find that VERY hard to believe.

"Forget about him, Marie." Lee said as she and her sisters searched the locker. "That Double Dee was always a wolf in sheep's clothing."

"I could tell there was SOMETHING going on! She's probably with him right now-"

Marie stopped herself short when she found a small box in the shape of a heart on the bottom shelf of Yang's locker. It was addressed to the buxom blonde from none other than Double Dee himself.

"What's this?" Marie asked.

She carefully took the box out of the locker and held it out in front of herself and her sisters before opening it. May raised an eyebrow before reaching into the box and pulling out… a red and purple tube sock.

Now, who do we know who wears that particular color combination?

"THAT'S ONE OF DOUBLE DEE'S SOCKS! THAT CREEP!" shouted Marie.

She and her sisters grit their teeth and scowled as they glared at the garment.

"Flirtin's one thing, but handing out your unmentionables is going too far!" Lee exclaimed.

Not bothering to clean up after themselves, the Kankers stomped off to report what they'd found to RWB. They needed to both collect their payment, and stop those 'harlots', as they are calling Double Dee's girls, from sinking their claws into Marie's man.

Yeah, keep deluding yourselves.

Meanwhile, Ao and Chojuro were also searching through Mei's locker, intent on finding out why their friend and sister figure was acting this way around Double Dee. Especially when two other girls seem to have an interest in the sock hat wearing boy.

"I just don't understand, Chojuro! Mei has NEVER shown any interest in dating before!" Ao said.

"Yeah, but at least we're learning more about her. Who would've thought that she was a fan of Carolina and her fellow Freelancers?" Chojuro stated.

It's true. She had a few autographed posters of Carolina, Washington, the A.I. known as Church, and even the powerhouse known as Agent Maine. Unfortunately, they were as of yet unable to find any correlation between their female companion and Double Dee Ed-Boy.

The two just sighed and gave up on finding anything. They closed the locker and walked towards the cafeteria. It was getting close to their lunchtime and they were both pretty hungry. Especially after the ink wave debacle.

But if they'd searched just a little longer and a little harder, they'd have found the Valentine card given to Mei just moments before she had left to meet up with Double Dee, Yang and Lazuli in the courtyard.

As for Vegeta and Lapis? They already knew that Lazuli had a thing for Double Dee due to seeing her earlier Valentine card creation. And they weren't happy about it!

Particularly, the overprotective brother known as Lapis.

* * *

 _ ***To Be Continued…***_

* * *

 _ **Don't forget to continue to vote on my poll that I have posted on my profile if you haven't already, and I'll see you all in my next chapter!**_


	7. Chapter 7

_**Sorry that this installment of the story took me so long, but after the rather pathetic length of the previous chapter, I wanted to try and make this one lengthier than before. Hope you guys enjoy it.**_

 _ ***I still don't own any of these franchises! Especially not Ed, Edd n' Eddy!***_

* * *

 _ **Sorrows of a Togruta and a Food Fight!**_

* * *

While the others were searching the lockers of Double Dee and the girls, the four in question were actually on their way to Obi-Wan Kenobi's swordsmanship class to help him clean and organize the place a bit. Obi-Wan is one of the stricter teachers in the school, but he always means well. He's never once played favorites with any of his students.

"Thank you for the help in getting this place ready, children. I wanted to get this done as soon as possible." Obi-Wan said as he put the training swords back on the racks.

"You're welcome, Master Kenobi. It's always a pleasure to ensure that the next class has a tidied, organized and stable environment to practice their swordsmanship." Double Dee replied.

"If you don't mind my asking, though, why do you need the place so spick and span so quickly? Is there a problem?" Lazuli asked.

Obi-Wan chuckled as he started wiping down his desk. Somehow, he knew one of his students would ask him something like this.

"There's no trouble. I merely have a lunch date with Luminara today." Obi-Wan informed. "You see, our one year anniversary is coming up, and I wanted to speak with her during lunch today and see where she wants to go so we can make or reservations early."

"You guys have been together for a year now?" Mei asked.

She and the others were honestly quite surprised. They knew that Obi-Wan and Luminara had been seeing each other recently, but they didn't know the two teachers had been together for so long now. It's amazing just what kind of things you can learn about one's romantic life during Valentine's Day.

Yang grinned and patted Obi-Wan on the back in a good natured manner, which unfortunately had enough force to knock the wind out of the man. But he knew that she meant no harm from it.

"Congrats, master Kenobi. Hope you two have many happy years together." Yang said.

"Thank you, Yang. It's nice to know that some of my students can appreciate the concept of romance. Unlike a certain Son of a Shepherd." Obi-Wan replied, talking about Rolf at the end.

"Yeah, he's been acting weird ever since this morning. Said something about Mountain Nymphs before Gym class started." Lazuli said.

"I've been meaning to ask about that. What's that about?" Mei asked.

"Now, now, there's no need to pry, ladies. I'm sure it's just some sort of tale fabricated from his home country to frighten young children into behaving and doing their chores." Double Dee stated, hoping to avoid a stake out.

But he was broken from his sense of relief when he heard the telltale signs of someone crying. He looked over to where the real swords are kept and found the resident Togruta girl, Ahsoka Tano, crying as she stared into her reflection. Her eyes were bloodshot and she looked like she hasn't been sleeping very well.

Obi-Wan sighed as he recalled why his student was like this in the first place. The poor girl's boyfriend, Lux Bonteri, died in a robbery by the gang known as Death Watch and she hasn't been the same since. She doesn't smile as often as she used to, and when she does, it's as fake as a watch sold on a street corner.

Cautiously, Double Dee walked closer to try and offer some sort of comfort to Ahsoka in her time of need.

"Valentine's Day. Bah, humbug!" Ahsoka said to herself.

"Oh, come now, Ahsoka! Surely you jest?" Double Dee exclaimed, not believing his ears.

She quickly rounded on Double Dee, her eyes blazing with anger as she recalled the mangled and bloodied body of her boyfriend as he died in her arms on the way to the hospital. A sight she'd remember for the rest of her days.

"You know what? Lux and I were planning a big date for today, AND ALL OF THAT IS RUINED BECAUSE DEATH WATCH KILLED HIM, DOUBLE DEE!" Ahsoka all but screamed. "So I got back at them! I killed them! I killed them all! SLAUGHTERED THEM LIKE THE ANIMALS THEY ARE!"

 **"YOU DID WHAT?!"** Double Dee yelled in shock and shame.

He fell to his knees and began to break down crying at how Ahsoka had solved murder with more murder. This was not how her older brother, Anakin, would have wanted her to solve this problem.

"OH, AHSOKA, HOW COULD YOU HAVE BEEN SO MERCILESS?! All your brother's trust! Shattered! Shame on you!" he wailed.

But Ahsoka seemed to have no regret for her actions.

"Hey, you know it and I know it! Death Watch had this coming for years now! There was a warrant out for them to be brought in dead or alive, and after they killed Lux in cold blood, I decided to return the favor! How many more innocent lives had to be lost before the police finally decided to do something about them! And I had to watch as my boyfriend; the love of my life DIED right in my arms!" Ahsoka exclaimed, her anger showing through without restraint.

"Hold it right there, missy! The true meaning of justice does not come from materialistic reclamations, or selfishly killing off a gang for its crimes. True justice can be found from within here." Double Dee reasoned, placing his hand on her lekku as a symbol of where her heart would be.

Ahsoka gave him a flat look in return.

"That's my lekku you're touching."

Yang walked up and did something that she knew would help her. Something her own mother did for her when Taiyang started abusing her. She wrapped the Togruta girl up in a gentle hug. At first, she tried to fight off the blonde, but soon started succumbing to her tears as she hugged her fellow female back.

Knowing that Ahsoka needed all the emotional support she could get, Double Dee, Lazuli and Mei all joined in the hug, each showing their support in her time of need.

"It's like a never ending nightmare, guys!" wailed Ahsoka. "I've never seen so much blood and the bullet holes… A girl shouldn't have to see that kind of gore in her young life!"

"There, there, Ahsoka. It'll be okay." Mei said comfortingly.

Double Dee broke off from the hug and placed a hand on her shoulder, making the girl look him in the eye.

"Ahsoka, I just want you to know that if you ever want to share your feelings, I'll be right here for you, my friend." Double Dee said.

Ahsoka looked at him… and she could tell he was telling the truth. She gave him a teary smile and tried to wipe the tears from her eyes and pull herself together. None of them were really aware that a new ring had formed on one of Double Dee's fingers while a ring with an Akul tooth charm in the center formed on Ahsoka's left ring finger.

* * *

 _ ***In the Cafeteria…***_

* * *

Lunch had rolled around for the students and everyone was taking the time to fill their empty bellies and grab some of the holiday themed treats that the cafeteria workers had put out for everyone. And Anakin Skywalker and his wife, Padme Skywalker, the two assistant Swordsmanship teachers, were a couple of them.

"Hey, check it out, Padme. Jelly hearts for Valentine's Day!" Anakin said.

He chuckled as he started poking the top jelly heart with one of his fingers, watching it jiggle and wobble like jelly does. Padme stifled a giggle and rolled her eyes at her husband. Here he was, a deadly warrior on the field of battle, and yet he can be so easily entertained at times.

Not that she was much better.

"I hope your sword swinging hand was washed, mister." she said teasingly.

Anakin took the jelly heart he was playing with and followed Padme to their usual table where Ahsoka and her friends, Barriss and Riyo, would often sit with them.

"Holy cow, relax Padme. Of course I washed my hands. Where do you think they've been?" Anakin asked.

Meanwhile, at a separate table, Edward Elric and his girlfriend, Winry Rockbell, were talking about how to improve Automail when Rolf sat down at their table.

"Happy Valentine's Day, Rolf." Winry greeted.

However, she and Edward flinched slightly as Rolf took out his lunch. A huge sandwich made from various parts of different types of animals. Among those parts were a tongue, an octopus tentacle, a chicken foot, and I think there's a few turkey eyeballs in there.

Rolf just glared at the two, showing his apparent hate for this holiday of love and affection.

"Poppycock!" snapped Rolf.

He watched as the octopus tentacle in his food moved and took out a large, wooden mallet. He slammed it down on his food, making sure it was dead and causing Edward and Winry to wince. The elder Elric brother looked at his girlfriend nervously as Rolf began to eat his own food.

"Uh, so, Winry, I was just… Uh…" Edward stuttered. "...You know… happy Valentine's Day?"

He took out a framed picture of the two of them and gave it to Winry. The frame itself was made from recycled Automail parts and forged into the shape of a heart, while the picture was of Edward and Winry when they went on their first date. Two things that Winry noticed immediately.

"Aw, thanks Ed, I love it!" she exclaimed, making Edward blush. "I got you a gift too."

She handed Edward a specially made swiss army knife that she had made for him from one of his own designs. And it showed how much he loved it, especially since it was forged by his master blacksmith of a girlfriend.

"Wow, this is amazing!" Edward complimented.

As he and Winry began exchanging compliments about one another's gifts, Rolf began growling and gritted his teeth together. He's had enough of all of this.

 **"ARE YOU ALL SO LOST TO THESE GRETTONS OF AFFECTION?!"** he yelled at the top of his lungs.

Winry and Edward looked at the Son of a Shepherd like he's gone totally bananas, but Rolf wasn't done there.

"Double Dee Ed-Boy and several girls have been smitten! Beware; 'lest you be next!" Rolf warned. "Take these…"

He reached into his pockets and pulled out two lemons before handing them to the two blondes.

"The Lemons of Exactitude. Squeeze its nectar into your eyes in order to see what cannot be seen!" Rolf instructed.

He got up from the table and walked off to try and find any sign of the Mountain Nymphs that have come to the high school, while Winry and Edward looked to each other. The two seemed to be thinking something along the same lines of their blue-haired friend.

"That guy needs a vacation. Away from farm work, of course." Winry commented.

The two put the lemons Rolf gave them away and focused more on filling their empty bellies in preparation for their next classes.

That's when trouble started brewing in the form of several enraged students barging into the cafeteria. Eddy, Ed, and Perfect Cell walked in from one side of the room, while RWB, the Kankers, Vegeta, Lapis, Ao and Chojuro walked in from the other.

The two sides met in the middle of the cafeteria, glaring at each other so intensely, one would think that they might spontaneously combust.

"Well, well, well! If it ain't the teams, sister, and brother of the friend stealers." Eddy quipped.

While Eddy did all the talking, Ed pulled his trusty paper bag over his head to try and hide. But this time, it had the drawing of a duck quacking on the front.

"Where's our Mei?" Chojuro demanded, getting in Eddy's face.

But Eddy wasn't backing down from this timid little fish of a man.

 **"WHERE'S OUR DOUBLE DEE?!"** he demanded at a greater volume.

The force of his voice was so great, it knocked Chojuro back into Ao, who managed to keep his friend on his feet. But Lapis, ever the overprotective brother, grabbed Eddy by the front of his shirt and clenched his fist.

"You have exactly THREE SECONDS to tell us where my sister's at!" he threatened. "One…! Two…!"

The other students and teachers alike were watching the scene unfold with great uncertainty. They weren't sure whether to break up this conflict or to join sides. Either way, they knew that violence was going to spring up today.

As Lapis reared back his arm to deck Eddy in the schnoz, the Flat as a Pancake Head Ed-Boy got an idea of how to avoid being punched. And deal out some pain in his own way.

"Hey, isn't that an abandoned car axle?" Eddy asked, pointing behind Lapis.

The black haired Twin of Lazuli, being the gear head that he is, easily fell for such a simple trick and released Eddy as he looked back to find the aforementioned item.

"Where?"

Eddy snickered as he picked up a turkey leg and threw it hard at the back of Lapis' head. It hit its mark and sent Lapis to the ground with swirls in his eyes and turkey legs floating around his head.

"Nice shot!" Lee Kanker praised.

"Ruby, Lapis, tell your stupid sisters to stay away from our friend." Eddy ordered as he dusted his hands off.

Ruby growled and grabbed a couple of hot dogs from a nearby table.

"Tell your stupid friend to stay away from our sisters!" she ordered back.

With great force and accuracy, Ruby threw them at Eddy and got him smack in the eyes. As a matter of fact, they were sticking out of his eye sockets as if they were his eyes.

"Oh look, Weiss. Weiner Eyes!" Ruby quipped.

This caused everyone of the remaining members of RWBY's side to crack up laughing at the ridiculous joke. Especially since there was visual aid to make it funnier.

"STAND BACK, MATRONS OF MAKE UP!" Ed exclaimed, holding his stinky bare foot up to the enemy group.

This made everyone of that group, boy and girl alike, flinch back at the smell of Ed's dirty foot. Especially since they know that Ed really doesn't understand the concept of the term personal hygiene. Looking back at Cell and Eddy with a smirk on his face, Ed pointed at the girls in the group.

"Girls hate toenails, guys." he said.

Unfortunately, that didn't stop Ed from getting hit in the side of the face by a whole ham. Courtesy of Marie Kanker. With the shots fired, food of all kinds began flying around the room with the intent of hitting anyone who got in the way.

"FOOD FIGHT!" Johnny cried out.

Those on the sidelines just watched as the two sides flipped over two cafeteria tables to use as forts to try and avoid enemy fire. All except Rolf, who took cover within a trash can that he flipped upside down.

"Get 'em, Ed!" Cell cried, throwing a salad.

His eyes widened as he saw something else flying at them.

"Uh oh!" he yelped.

As Cell ducked back behind the table, Ed rose up and was about to throw a piece of pie, but he got hit in the face by a whole cheese wheel.

But still, I wonder, where are Double Dee and the others as this all is going down? One would think that the sock hat wearing Ed-Boy would be here to at least try and stop everyone from destroying school property like this.

* * *

 _ ***To Be Continued…***_

* * *

 _ **I hope you guys like this chapter, because it took me awhile to get my mojo flowing for this story again. Now, the harem has been finalized and I think you'll like those I've chosen. You'll see the final product in the next chapter where I'll have gathered Double Dee and all of his girls in one place.**_

 _ **...Not for anything mature, you bunch of pervs! Get your minds outta the gutter!**_


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